There are moments in parenting when the right choice feels clear. And then there are moments when every option feels heavy. If you’re raising a child with special needs, you know these moments well. Decisions about services. Decisions about placement. Decisions about timing. Decisions where there is no perfect answer, only the best you can do with the information you have.
The Weight of These Decisions
Hard decisions don’t usually come with certainty. They come with questions:
- Am I doing the right thing?
- What if this choice hurts instead of helps?
- What if we wait too long or move too fast?
As a parent, the responsibility can feel overwhelming. As an educator, I understood the systems and options. But as a parent, the emotional weight was entirely different. Because these weren’t abstract decisions, they were about our son.
Our Experience
We faced hard decisions early. Decisions about evaluations. Decisions about services like speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy. Decisions about placement in a preschool program with a special education teacher. And none of them were easy.
We worried about labels. We worried about how others would see him. We worried about whether early intervention would help—or change how he saw himself. But what grounded us was this truth: Doing nothing was also a decision. And our son needed support.
What Helped Us Decide
Here are a few things that helped guide us when the answers weren’t obvious:
1. We Focused on Needs, Not Labels
We reminded ourselves that services don’t define a child support does. Speech therapy didn’t mean failure. It meant help.
2. We Asked: “Will This Help Him Right Now?”
Instead of worrying about the future, we asked:
- Will this help him communicate?
- Will this help him feel confident?
- Will this help him succeed today?
Small help today builds independence tomorrow.
3. We Trusted Our Instincts
Data matters. Professional input matters. But so does parental intuition. You know when something feels off. You know when something feels right. That voice deserves to be heard.
4. We Allowed Ourselves to Revisit Decisions
Hard decisions don’t have to be permanent. IEPs can change. Services can be adjusted. Placements can be reviewed. You are never locked into a choice forever.
For Parents Standing at a Crossroad
If you’re facing a hard decision right now, I want you to hear this:
- There is no such thing as a perfect path.
- Loving, informed decisions are never wrong.
- You are allowed to change your mind.
- You are allowed to ask for more support.
- You are allowed to grieve the fact that this is hard.
Strength doesn’t mean certainty. Strength means showing up anyway.
A Reminder I Come Back to Often
Your child doesn’t need you to be flawless. They need you to be present. They need you to be willing. They need you to believe in them. And you already are.
Your Turn
Have you had to make a hard decision for your child? What helped you move forward? If you feel comfortable, share in the comments. Your story may give someone else the courage they need today.
Coming Up Next…
In my next post, I’ll be writing about something many parents quietly experience: “Grieving the Path You Thought Your Child Would Have.” We’ll talk about expectations, acceptance, and finding hope in a different but still beautiful journey.
